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| So I finally have that peaceful easy feeling that The Eagles sang about all those years ago.
Also,
Everyone that reads this needs to get out to this show, it shall be one of the best shows ever.
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| Well I played drums for a while today & realized that I can still shread so that makes me happy.
Also Backseat Confessional will be playing their last show soon & Minor & Myself will be playing with them.
Distance means nothing to me, seeing as you are always in my heart. | | |
| This feeling takes me over day by day.
From the moment I wake up untill the moment I find serenity in sleep.
And everyday it just keeps going.
Take a part of you life that you love & is the only thing in life that youve known for 12 years away.
How empty does that make you feel.
After that move in with a father you've never really known all that well, still dont.
Have him take all of your money & pride & offer no parential guidance or skills at all.
Then move to another state & not fit in at all for 9 months, with the hope of coming back home.
Only once you get here you get this rad idea to play music for fun
so you start a few bands, This Mourning Dawn & Long Time Coming.
Well, TMD was a good start & it was fun but then LTC basically came along & endded that.
LTC did well for a while right before their 2 members wanted to go other ways & just wouldnt tell us.
So then after that mountain of things I love dearly wasnt enought to take away you want more.
Now that I love something again I'm just trying to realize when that will be taken away as well. The world took my mother
leaving me worldless.
so I joined my fathers word
That was a mistake
After that new mexico tore me apart
I came back here
Started T.M.D.
Started LTC
Lost TMD
Lost LTC
Found a wonderful girl
many many amazing times we had
When do I lose her aswell?
But the real question in all of this is
When did I lose Me? Everything that means something to me leaves me.
Where can I find the Me I used to be?
I know people change but I dont recognize my reflection, my voice, my interests.
Where did I go? Put yourself in my shoes for a minute & close your eyes & just think about whats in this blog.
How empty do you feel?
How Alone?
How do you fight for more when you know itll be taken somehow?
How can you be yourself with all these thoughts & more constantly going through your head?
How do you live? This is just the tip of this iceburg. | | |
| One of these days I'm just going to blog everything I feel inside.
Untill then, I'll just keep beating myself up. | | |
| "There are evenings when this decimated world of movement, colour and form
Gets thin, and getting thinner
When lights are dim, and getting dimmer
When nights are grim and they're only getting, only getting grimmer" Many props to Protest The Hero for that one.
Some days I just feel horrible & I dont know why.
It feels like a never ending lonliness.
I dont remember much of my childhood but what I do remember is just tiny bits & peices of myself, my sister, & my mom.
Does everyone else remember a lot of their child hood?
Why dont I?
I just feel so alone, & it hurts. | | |
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